


Ungrateful Bastard Shaped

by tj_teejay



Category: Daredevil (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-28
Updated: 2015-06-28
Packaged: 2018-04-06 16:54:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4229553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tj_teejay/pseuds/tj_teejay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Who knows what prompted Foggy to give Matt a stress ball as a present in the first place, but he did, and then it kinda grew from there.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ungrateful Bastard Shaped

**Author's Note:**

> **Author's Note:** Written for the daredevilkink meme prompt [“Foggy keeps giving Matt stress balls”](http://daredevilkink.dreamwidth.org/2760.html?thread=4908488#cmt4908488). Not beta’ed, cause I’m impatient and have a reasonable amount of confidence in my spelling skills. :-)  
> 
> 
> +-+-+-+-+

“Hey Matt?”

Matt cocked his head in Foggy’s direction. “Yeah?”

“You know when sometimes people give each other presents, but it’s not actually their birthday or Christmas?”

Matt frowned. “Uhm...”

“Yeah, I mean, you’d be cool with that kind of thing, right?”

Matt cracked a smile. “Maybe.”

“So, yeah, I, uh... I got you this. It’s not wrapped or anything, cause that’d be, like, too much of an actual _present_ -present.”

Matt could hear a faint rustle as Foggy handed him something across his desk. Matt took it and felt it. A small cardboard box. When he opened it, there was something squishy and round-shaped inside that fit into the palm of his hand. “If I were to hazard a wild guess, I’d say this was a... stress ball?”

Foggy pointed at him. “Bingo, pal.”

Matt put it down on the desk. “And you figured I would appreciate this because...?”

Foggy let out a huff that implicated a definite ‘duh’. “You go out and punch people in the face for a living. Or, well, not a living. And if not that, you use an actual punching bag. Plus, I think you have this tactile thing. Karen’s noticed all these ballpoint pens with broken clips lately. And you don’t even _write_ with those. These stress balls are supposed to be amazing. Just try it. They’re very therapeutic.”

Matt wasn’t sure whether to be annoyed or amused. “Says who? The TV commercial?”

“Well... yeah.”

“Foggy, I don’t need a stress ball.”

“That’s what _you_ think.” He lifted his arms in a ‘never mind’ gesture. “But, hey, if you don’t like it, that’s cool. I’ll give it to my sis. She has three kids. They’d probably trade me at least two toy dinosaurs for it.”

Matt sighed. “No, it’s fine. I can always use it as a paperweight, right?”

“Ah, there’s the spirit.” Foggy flashed a good-natured smile at his friend. “Also, you’re an ungrateful bastard. Remind me never to give you a present again.”

“Does that count for birthdays and Christmas, too?”

Foggy got up from his chair. “I might make exceptions, but no guarantees.”

Matt gave him a quick nod. When Foggy was almost out the door, he added, “Foggy?”

Foggy stopped and turned around.

“Thank you.”

“I wish you’d say that like you meant it.”

“I do mean it. Really.”

“It’s green, by the way. Kind of a bright apple green leaning towards chartreuse. You know, like angry-green?”

“That’s very reassuring to know.”

+-+-+-+-+

The first time Matt actually used the stress ball was when they were working on a particularly difficult case. The paperwork was endless, and even though Matt was used to reading a lot of Braille, his fingertips were starting to feel sore. The screen reader wasn’t always what it was cut out to be, and the Braille keyboard wasn’t the easiest on skin that was more sensitive than most people’s.

When he thought back, it wasn’t even a conscious decision when he reached for the thing. It was just... there. And it felt nice and squashy and soothing. He kneaded it in his right hand for a while until he realized what it was that he was doing.

He stopped for a moment and made an effort to listen to what Foggy was doing over in his office. There were the familiar soft clicking noises of a laptop keyboard, interrupted by seconds of silence. Foggy’s four-and-a-half-finger-system didn’t always work so flawlessly, and Matt knew he secretly admired him for being able to touch-type.

A smiled played at Matt’s lips when he put the stress ball away and turned his focus back on the case.

+-+-+-+-+

It was a week later that Matt found another cardboard box on his desk. The Braille label attached to it read, “I know you’ll use it, so don’t be a dick about it, ok?”

Matt let out a chuckle and unwrapped it, expecting another stress ball. And it was, except it wasn’t a ball. The material and density was the same, but the shape was different. It took him a few seconds to realize it was shaped like a cupcake.

He squeezed it, relishing the sensation. He’d have to thank Foggy for it. Properly.

He bought the red velvet cupcake at the bakery down the street that was said to be the best in Hell’s Kitchen. The ballpoint pen he used to write a quick Thank You note for Foggy to go with it had its clip intact.

+-+-+-+-+

Two months later, and it had become an actual game between them. Foggy would leave Matt a new stress ball every now and then, and Matt would buy Foggy something in return. The balls were different each time, and Matt always tried to find something creative to return the favor.

When Foggy gave him the brain-shaped one, he bought Foggy a Sudoku magazine. For the Pacman-shaped one, he gave him a package of Arcade Candy. For the football one, he got him tickets for a Giants game. Halfway affordable ones, but still...

But this latest one had him stumped.

Matt walked into Foggy’s office, the stress ball... thing in hand. He held it up for Foggy to see. “I’ve been trying to come up with a response to this for the better part of the morning, but I’m coming up empty.”

Foggy’s mouth spread into a stupid grin. “You could hear me holding my breath from all the way over there, right? Well, my friend, think back to the first one I ever gave you. Light green, if I’m not mistaken.”

“Chartreuse.”

“Angry-green,” they both said at the same time, and laughed.

Foggy told Matt, “Yeah, and you were kind of an ass about it.”

“Ah,” Matt replied, “So you figured a butt-shaped stress ball would be just the thing.”

Foggy shrugged. “Seemed apt enough.”

“Guess you couldn’t find anything ‘ungrateful bastard’ shaped?”

“Yeah, well, I figured this was the closest there was.”

“Gee, thanks. Guess I’m gonna have to get you one of those fake plastic poo things. Or a whoopee cushion.”

“Hey, think about it. Endless fun in the courtroom.”

“And a sure-fire way to lose any case we ever wished we’d win.”

“Not if the jury has a sense of humor,” Foggy deadpanned.

“Do me a favor? Try that on a case that I’m _not_ involved in, okay?”

Foggy pulled a pouty face and muttered, “Party pooper.”

Matt turned to go, but then looked back at Foggy and pointed a finger at him. “I heard that. And that’s a terrible pun.”

+-+-+-+-+

Three days later, Foggy all but stormed into Matt’s office, the brown cardboard box still in hand.

“Edible anuses? Really?”

Matt just shrugged. “Hey, you started it.”

“Oh, I’m gonna get you for this, Murdock.”

“Do your worst. Though they’re supposed to be pure Belgian chocolate. I think they may actually taste nice.”

“Which can only come from the guy who can’t see what he eats. I’m gonna have to rinse my eyes with soap for the next two hours to unsee this.”

Matt flashed his friend a grin. “You’re free to leave them on my desk if you don’t want them. I also happen to know Karen has a thing for dark chocolate.”

“I’m not giving Karen a chocolate butthole. That’s, like... borderline sexual harassment.”

“Give her some credit. She has a pretty great sense of humor.”

“But I don’t. Not when it comes to edible buttholes. So, I call a new rule. We don’t give each other presents that are shaped like parts of the human anatomy that have definite awkwardness potential.”

“Let me state again for the record that I wasn’t the one who started it. That’s the truth, the whole truth, and nothing _butt_ the truth.”

The only thing Foggy could utter before he left Matt’s office was a resigned groan. It was all Matt could do not to pull up the list of ‘Uranus’ puns he already had at the ready.

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, edible anuses actually exist, as do butt shaped stress balls. Please don't ask me how I know this. :-D


End file.
